5 Years Gone

My mom passed away 5 years ago during Christmastime. There was no warning. No hospital. No emergency she just went in her sleep. That night I talked to her on the phone she wasn’t feeling well and said she’d call the doctor on Monday. Her voice sounded tired I asked if she wanted me to come over. No, you go to the party and have a good time. I’ll see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow came but so did the phone call. She’s gone. After all the years of praying, going to church and believing in God, He took her home, the ultimate final step for a Christian. When I went to her house to see for myself I was numb. Could it be a mistake? Why didn’t I go over there? Could I have stopped this from happening? No. Death is something you can’t stop.

In the fridge there was a container of her homemade sauce and meatballs, another one with soup. My thoughts were it’s the last meals that she cooked. I’ll never taste her comfort food again. Meatballs never taste quite as good as hers and I always made sure I told her that too. Warm motherly hugs that make you feel wanted and loved, cease.

There’s no word to express the loss of a loved one. One day you have a conversation and the next it’s over. Gone forever are the phone calls asking if everything is ok. Want to come over for tea and supper. I need a ride to the hairdresser can you take me. My role as caretaker and daughter is done. That connection with someone so important for you to make happy and comfortable the best you can is finished.

A day does not go by that she is not in my thoughts, memories and dreams. Soon after her death I dreamt she was all dressed up in white, hair done, smiling with my dad. She told me it’s all right I’m ok. Somehow this comforts me. 5 years gone. I’ll always miss you. And life goes on.

Mama and my grandmother Effie in front of their home in Southwest Margaree, Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, Canada

August Sky

The sky is pink, blue and yellow - a watercolor
God paints me a sky every day
after the rain the sky glows pink into purple –
yellow into gold

green tree tops look like mountains
against a pink sky
twilight
August winds blow a strong storm through
torrential rain falls
and now an afterglow

Calmly the trees stand after their furious flight
gentle breeze takes over a calm sky
pink and blue sky goes by
wet is the ground clean from the rain
pink turns blue into the night sky – cool is the breeze
the sun is gone - leaving only a trace
of its setting colors

the storm has passed – night is here
another day will dawn and God will paint a new sky

Krishna's and Communists - Marion Rd

The main door downstairs to get up to 2nd or 3rd floor apartments was never locked anyone could come in. One summer as a kid the door knocks. Me and daddy answer the door to my amazement was a Hari Krishna dressed in their garb that made him look like he was from out of space! These people use to dance around airports, shaking tambourines, peace love happiness. With a ponytail coming out from the top of his head but the rest of his head shaved to the skin. Long, bright orange dressgown and he tries to say something to my dad maybe peace or do you know Hari? My father screeches “NO we’re catholic!” Slams the door in his face! LOL. I looked at my dad and he said don’t ever talk to those people. I thought great something else to be fearful of Krishna’s and Communists. My friends Helen and Milena with their parents escaped from Czechoslovakia they had to escape from the communists – whoever they were.